


i almost had you, didn't i?

by ohmyclara (BooyahFordhamYacht)



Series: all at once, nothing at all(jdox oneshots) [2]
Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sobbing, carla cries, elliot cries, everyone cries, in which there was an accident and turk couldnt save him, jd dies, jdox angst, no one knew, perry cries, perry hates turk, perry loved him, six word story prompt, what have I created
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 16:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10391187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooyahFordhamYacht/pseuds/ohmyclara
Summary: in which JD dies and Perry never got to tell him how much he loved him. (vague grey's anatomy/criminal minds inspirations, totally not important or relevant)





	

**GUYS! I've fallen back in love with the Six Word Stories collections all over the internet, and so I'm gonna start picking random ones and using them as inspirations for my fics. They'll be the titles. Really any ship is gonna work, just whatever I'm feeling at the moment. Right now I'm re-binging my way through Scrubs and am on kind of a JDox kick. Here you go, angsty skinny love Perry. You're welcome. Set mid season 5 ish, slight AU.**

 

It had seemed kind of quiet for the first 45 minutes of Perry's shift that day. He couldn't quite place it, but someone was missing. And then he walked into the ICU, and his heart fell through the crappy linoleum tiles to the floors below. Ghandi, Barbie and Carla were curled in chairs next to a patient's bed, and when Perry looked to see who the guy was, he really thought he might throw up. It was Newbie.

 

Bloodied and bruised and broken, but it was Newbie nonetheless. The clipboard clattered from Perry's hands, and instead of letting loose the sob he could feel in his chest, he got angry.

 

He rushed to Newbie's bedside. "What the hell happened?" he barked, ripping Turk from his trance of staring at the cuts on JD's face. 

 

Turk looked up at Perry, but it seemed like his eyes weren't really focused on the curly-haired attending. "He... uh, someone hit him on his way home from the hospital last night. He was on his scooter... he never stood a chance."

 

"Why didn't anyone page me??" Perry knew that they thought that Newbie was just an annoying little fly on the wall to him, but he still couldn't believe that they wouldn't tell him that JD was so severely hurt. Perry wanted to cry, or kill the guy that had done this to JD.

 

And he felt so,  _so_ stupid. He'd loved the idiot for as long as he'd known him, but he'd been to cocksure and too afraid to admit that he might be gay, so he'd beaten that down and taken out the pain he felt on the thing he loved most. The girls' names. The denial that he ever cared about him. The bullying. Perry wanted to take it all back. He wanted JD to wake up so that Perry could hug him and tell him that he was  _sorry_ , that he'd never meant a single word and that he had always,  _always_ loved him, and that yes, JD was a great doctor. Perry couldn't believe that he'd been too prideful to try to get JD while he still had the chance.

 

Turk, however, didn't seem to be able to tell how Perry was feeling, because his head snapped up and his eyes, which were now fully focused on Perry, were full of hate. "And why the  _hell_ would we do that? So you could laugh and dance away? So you could start planning your party to celebrate? No,  _Dr. Cox,_ I was not going to let you turn the fact my best friend might die into something to celebrate, just because you don't like him. He deserves better. Get the hell away from him." Before Perry could blink, or Carla could stop him, Turk was up in Perry's face, pushing him away from the small, broken doctor in the bed. 

 

Perry held up his hands, deciding to tell the truth. If he fought Ghandi now, he couldn't stay by JD's side. "I-" before Perry could say the words, JD flatlined. Carla, Elliot, and Turk turned and ran to him, snapping into doctor mode, desperate to save their best friend. Perry froze, watching everyone around him operate. 

 

After a long thirty seconds, Turk figured out what had happened. "Guys, he's got internal bleeding! He's hemorrhaging! He needs surgery NOW!"

 

Todd(Perry had always refused to refer to him as  _The Todd_ , finding the name preposterous) had showed up at this point. "Alright, I got it. I'll take him." 

 

Turk shook his head. "Like hell you will! I'm gonna be in on that surgery!"

 

Todd looked conflicted. "Look, Turk, you can't operate on family, it's against policy-"

 

"Everybody in this damn hospital is JD's family! I don't give a damn about  _policy._ I will be in on that surgery, and anyone who wants to try to stop me is going to end up in a bed just like his!" Turk snapped. 

 

The next hour was a blur. Turk and Todd took JD into surgery, and Carla, Elliot, Laverne, Perry and several others made their way to the OR's waiting room. Even Kelso and the Janitor were there. 

 

Far too quickly, Turk appeared in the doorway, surgical cap in his hands.

 

Everyone stood up as soon as he entered. "I..." he began, voice cracking. "He never even made it off the table." 

 

Elliot curled into the Janitor, who held her there, letting her sob against his chest. Carla got up and ran to her husband, who began to cry as soon as she touched him. Everyone else handled it differently. Laverne started to cry silently and held her hands in prayer, Kelso broke the glass in the window of the door he exited through when he slammed it shut. 

 

Perry froze. All the breath left his lungs. He couldn't speak, couldn't even think. Four days he stayed that way, not speaking, not eating, only drinking what little Carla had the energy to force down his throat in between her sessions of crying and taking care of a barely-alive Turk. 

 

When the funeral rolled around, Elliot and Carla managed to work up the emotional energy to get both Perry and Turk into suits and out the door. Neither had the energy to ask why Perry Cox, of all people, cared so damn much. 

 

The service went by fairly quickly. Dan said something, then Turk. Everyone cried. Perry sat in the front row and didn't say a word, just stared blankly at the smiling photo of JD on the casket. 

 

The reception was worse. Turk had, apparently, stopped crying long enough to get angry. 

 

"Why the  _hell_ are you even here, Cox?" he shouted out of nowhere, slapping the scotch out of his hand and pinning him to the wall. 

 

Perry didn't fight it, instead let out the words he'd been holding in for 5 years. "I loved him." He breathed, and the tears started to roll down his cheeks. "Oh, God, I was so in love with him, and now he's gone. What have I done? He's gone, and I never even told him... we would've been so happy. He's gone."

 

Turk, seeing that Perry's pain was real, dropped his collar and stepped back. Without anything holding him up, Perry slid down the wall to wrap his arms around his knees. He began to sob, and for the life of him, Perry Cox didn't think he'd ever stop.


End file.
